Ramble 10: Lost in the three D’s

The three D’s: Depression, Despair and Devastation

If there were three words to describe me, currently, that would be it. I am depressed, in despair and hence devastated. I am beyond repair. Beyond recognition. I am no longer my jovial goofy moody self. I only have these moods now. Oh, what has life done to me. The sad part is not even in my dreams am I able to turn this around. Not even in the fantasies. There is no way I can change my destiny, this time.

The teacher I loved is now leaving me and there is nothing I can do about it. I cannot stop the tears from flowing freely, I cannot stop myself from staring at the sitting room where I know we would only sit for nine more classes. I am afraid that a new teacher will replace the friendly face of my present teacher in my memories in years to come. I am afraid that he is not going to be there when I graduate hopefully with flying colors. I am afraid that I will never see him again and if I do it will be awkward. I am afraid that I will never find somebody like him. I am afraid that the tears of reminiscence will never stop. I know that I am always going to retain his unforgettable life lessons, for they will always be of importance to me. But that is not enough, at least not for me.

Presently, the only comfort I can find is in my sister’s warm embrace. And I am afraid that in nothing else and nowhere else will I find this comfort ever again.

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