I went to Starbucks this afternoon with my cousins and mother darlin’. We ordered the Christmas special coffees, three in total, an innocuous panini and a red velvet cake. I was standing there, waiting for the bill to arrive, expecting to be charged Rs. 800 at the most. But, the sharp startle in my eye was there when I saw that it was a whooping Rs. 1200. I stammered as I talked to the cashing lady, hoping it was all a mistake.
I was struck with guilt as I realized that I had spent ostensibly large amount on Starbucks, having an evening snack. I felt stupid and completely immature for not realizing how easy it is for money to leave the pocket. It reminded me of being in 5th grade, again with my cousin and crying in Kerala.
In 5th grade, I wanted to go to a special art workshop in the resort. Bored and too tired to play make-believe my cousin and I trotted to the workshop where we learnt absolutely nothing but ended up with a ordinate bill of Rs 400 on a one hour class. Nine years back Rs.400 was a big deal and it is so now, too. I was ridden with guilt and I cried, excessively so as I remember with my running nose and tear stained hands. My uncle later, told me that I should learn from my cousin as to not cry over little mistakes. But, my father told me it was alright because “you know your father has to pay”. I was grateful for the latter.
This time the guilt felt bitter-sweet for my coffee was actually a soothing Christmas treat on a windy day. My dad, later jokingly reprimanded my spending in Starbucks and I yanked his hand away. I still felt guilty but, not excessively so. And perhaps, this is change. This is growing up.
What are your experiences with growing up? I would love to hear your ramble!